The Hurricanes

The Hurricanes

Hurricanes in cartridge

The Hurricanes. Such fond memories of this TV show. Mainly of the intro theme music, which was far more epic than the show deserved. To be honest that’s about all I remember of it, other than I’m pretty sure they spent a limited amount of time actually playing football. However to a football obsessed child, the mere sniff of a match was enough to have me hooked. Anyway, I digress.

I stumbled across the game for sale on Amazon while looking for a Hurricanes themed novelty gift for a friend of mine. It was not particularly expensive so I bought it and invited the same friend over to play it when it arrived a week later. Obviously I forgot to actually buy him the gift.

I’m not sure exactly what to say about this game. I din’t read anything about it before playing it so I had no idea what the plot was. However I was greeted with a blonde footballer seemingly in some South American jungle with a ball attached to his feet. Turns out the Hurricanes football team have been challenged to a football match and must make their way to the game. I wasn’t particularly worried about the plot though, as I am sure the TV series had it’s fair share of nonsensical plots as well.

You can kick the ball at enemies to hurt them, and power up the ball as you go through through picking up specific items. Don’t worry about kicking the ball though, as when you do as if by magic it is attracted back to your feet for you to kick it again. You can chip the ball up, or juggle it up and down before unleashing a fearsome punt, or just tentatively kick it in front of you. Be warned though, kicking the ball on thorns will cause it to burst and float away- but fret not! A new ball will appear from the side of the screen for our hero to dribble his way through the jungle.

And that’s about it.

This game is terrible. I actually put it down do do some work as I found it more interesting. Not only that, it is hard as hell! In level one I died multiple times before I had gotten anyway through the level. However I had to persist, I couldn’t review it without completing a single level. I battled, jumped and kicked my way through the level to be greeted by a man in a helmet charging at me. Actually the boss fight was the most pleasurable aspect of the level and wasn’t badly done in my opinion. Jumping to avoid him and then kicking a ball into the back of his head was oddly satisfying, although probably wouldn’t inflict quite as much damage as this game suggests.

FullSizeRender (3)
Our hero in the midst of battle

Anyway, the next stage was almost identical to the first, but with my skills perfected from round one I was well equipped to get through this stage. Still at this point it feels like a chore. Kicking footballs at scorpions, monkeys and charging men sounds good on paper but in practice this falls a little flat. After a while I stopped collecting the items, the little medals seemed to serve no purpose at all to me other than boosting the equally pointless score. The crates that I burst open seemed to have more enemies than anything useful. Fortunately at the end of this level they reused the same boss fight as they did in the first… which seems a little lazy to me, but it was just as satisfying knocking him out the second time.

So onto the next stage, which appears to be an airport. Now there are annoying moving platforms to contend with, which are slow, and if you miss a jump you need to walk away from them so they can reset for you. The character controls, which just seemed off in the first stages now become a complete nuisance. Missing a platform means watching them slowly reset while I run about or twiddle my thumbs. However this did introduce me to an aspect of the game that I hadn’t seen before; the timer. Why it has a time limit I do not know, but I was timed out of this level waiting for platforms to reset after a jump i missed.

Must fight urge to throw controller…

After finally making it to the boss in this level- some goo throwing guy, I was dispatched with ease. And then game over- start from the beginning of the game. No thank you very much.

I am not going to spend my time going into too much detail about this game, it isn’t one that I would recommend picking up, despite it being a cheap buy. It is of course possible I am being a little harsh. The game has some redeeming features. The game looks OK, the backgrounds are more appealing than many of the games I played so in that sense it is well done. And it has some kind of football in it, which is a plus. The music is pretty generic but not too bad. There is also the option of a second playable character (identical to the first but with brown hair- great news for us brunettes out there) and the option for two player mode in case you wanted to drag someone else along in this experience. If I could find it in myself to put in some more effort I might find a half decent platformer in there somewhere. But I very much doubt it.

Occasionally I think I will throw this game into my SNES to show someone how bad it is, or to upset anyone with fond memories of the Hurricanes (I just watched an episode- I think I remember it through rose tinted glasses!) Or I might just go play Shaq Fu instead…and that is saying something.


Hurricanes end screen

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